Context

Many people think an empathic leader is a great leader.

However, being empathetic alone can lead to burnout and biased decision-making.

According to research by Rasmus Hougaard, Potential Project & Harvard Business Review:

Leaders with an empathy preference have:

• 12% higher risk of burnout than their more compassionate counterparts.

Leaders oriented toward compassion show:

• 30% greater level of well-being and happiness in their life

• 14% greater confidence in their leadership ability—because they feel capable of making a difference.

You have the choice to be an empathetic or a compassionate leader.

What is Empathic Leadership?

You linger in other people's suffering with the danger of "taking on that suffering" yourself and being burned out.

What is Compassionate Leadership?

You move into the intention of compassion and act to alleviate their distress from a state of objectivity.

The Formula for Compassion

Compassion = Empathy + Action

My advice in this. Connect with empathy, but lead with compassion.

The 4 Stages To Compassionate Leadership

1. Pity

"I feel sorry for you"

When you experience pity, you have little willingness to act. You also have little understanding of the experience of others.

You simply feel sorry for the other.

2. Sympathy

"I feel for you"

When you experience sympathy there is a small increase in your willingness to help and your understanding of the other.

You feel for the other person.

3. Empathy

"I feel with you"

Connecting through empathy, you have a close, visceral understanding of the other person’s experience. With empathy, you feel "with" the person.

You take on the emotions of the other person and make those feelings your own.

But being Empathic does not necessarily help the other.

Empathy alone might also lead you to feel bad and suffer.

4. Compassion

"I am here to help"

You have a good understanding of what the other person is experiencing. But you also have a willingness to act.

You connect your emotional awareness with rational understanding (wisdom).

One more thing…

There is a direct correlation between your level of wise compassion and your rank in your company.

Leaders who rank high on wise compassion are more fulfilled than their less compassionate counterparts.

They show:

66% lower stress

200% lower intention to quit

14 % higher efficacy in their work

So, avoid the ‘Empathy Trap.’

Connect with empathy, but lead with compassion.

Summary

The 4 Stages to Compassionate Leadership:

1. Pity - I feel sorry for you

2. Sympathy - I feel for you

3. Empathy - I feel with you

4. Compassion - I am here to help

Be mindful not to make yourself wrong as you look at these four stages.

Each stage can build upon the last and go a little further toward compassion.

Be gentle with yourself.

Reflect:

What examples of compassionate vs. empathic leadership have you

experienced?

I’ll see you next week,

Nikolas Konstantin

P.S. Want more…

The Yearly Reflection Space for Leaders: The Wise Leadership Retreat

I've opened applications for my 2024 "Wise Leadership Retreat.“ It will take place 06.- 11. August this year.

What you can expect:

1. A full-day workshop on wise leadership will help you gain clarity on your values and goals.

2. Three days of silent meditation training to widen your awareness and mindfulness.

3. Nourishing meals, sauna, and beautiful surrounding lake and nature.

4. Connecting with like-minded leaders facing similar challenges.

5. Closing workshop to harvest new skills and insights for lasting growth.

Training the Theory and Art of Meditation: A Beautiful Mind Course

Can’t join the silent meditation retreat this year?

If you want to train your mind and understand the theory from science and meditation traditions, this one is for you.

The Online Course includes:

• The Guide to the 3 Styles of Meditation E-Book,

• 4 hours of theory,

• 10 + Meditations

• & Retreat Mode (create your own silent retreat with my retreat recordings)

The Best of Management and Leadership: Founder Playbooks

As a founder coach, I scan the best of leadership literature and mindfulness so my clients can focus on what matters most—building a thriving organization.

Some of that theory makes it into my client’s Founder Playbooks library, featuring the best management and leadership theory. So far, I have made those "Founder Playbooks" only accessible to my coaches. You can have exclusive access here.

A la Carte Executive Training: Executive Coaching

Each year, I support a number of leaders to transform into more resonant versions of themselves - so they can grow with purpose and positively impact the world. Want to be coached by me? Say hello.

Thanks for reading.

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See you next week,
Nikolas