How to Live Drama Free

Context

Most executives I know get caught up in the "Drama Triangle":

They admit to blaming others, insisting on being right, and playing the "victim card" at times.

Getting stuck in Drama has serious consequences:

→ You destroy trust.

→ Your relationships worsen.

→ You endanger the future of what you have built.

How can you get trapped in the drama triangle?

The Drama Triangle Framework

The Drama Triangle has three roles:

A. THE HERO

Provides "temporary relief."

The hero gives the hungry man a bagel instead of teaching him how to bake.

- Creates temporary, short-term relief

- Seeks value by being needed by others

- Invites dependency (from others)

B. THE VILLAIN

Blames himself or others.

The Villain blames oneself or others for problems, often criticizing and oppressing others to maintain control.

- Blames himself or others: ("I should have.."; The problem wouldn't exist if you…") 

- Controls others (or self) through blame, criticism, and oppression

- Thinks he must win at any cost

C. THE VICTIM

Is “at the effect of.“

The Victim feels powerless and at the mercy of circumstances, avoiding responsibility for their actions and outcomes.

- Not in control of any outcome

- Refrains from taking responsibility for outcomes

- Thinks he is powerless and at the mercy of life's circumstances

All dramas are a race towards who gets to be the biggest victim.

Application

Awareness of these roles is the first step to getting out of drama.

How?

Step 1. Become aware of the drama triangle roles.

Step 2. Shift to a role that frees you from drama.

Being aware of your role, you can change course:

a) The Victim becomes the Creator:

→ Creators take responsibility for their lives & ask for help.

b) The Villain becomes the Challenger: 

→ Challengers bring healthy pressure to create breakthroughs.

c) The Hero becomes the Coach: 

→ The coach empowers others through inquiry. 

Summary

How to move from Drama to Presence. Escape Drama by moving from:

a) Victim to Creator 

b) Hero to Coach 

c) Villain to Challenger

Go gently with this.

Beware of the ‘Hero’ picking up this very model and trying to "save others” with it.

Awareness here is the key.

Apply this framework to your own actions and see the drama be transformed.

Reflect:

What has helped you escape unnecessary drama?

I’ll see you next week,

Nikolas Konstantin

P.S. Want more…

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See you next week,
Nikolas